Classes taught at Hogwarts (but not mentioned in the Harry Potter series):
- What the Hell is a Credit Card?: Muggle Money 101 (guest lecturer Arthur Weasley)
- Cloaks and Nightgowns: What Not to Wear When Out Where Muggles Can Bloody Well See You, You Utter Muppet (unofficially taught by Professor Minerva McGonagall to those who dearly need it)
- Cockroaches Aren’t Candy: A Guide to Food in the Muggle World (With Dissenting Views Presented Strenuously By Headmaster Albus Dumbledore)
- Guns, Germs, and Steel: How Muggles Win Wars (includes a mandatory class discussion titled “Thank The Gods You-Know-Who Never Discovered Automatic Weapons”)
- Modern Muggle Politics: Why You Don’t See Many Wizards From Afghanistan Around Here
- Physics 9000+: The Theory and Practice of Faster-Than-Light Travel (a post-graduate class open only to those who have also received their PhD in theoretical physics from a Muggle university, and which includes discussion of Time Turners and apparation)
- Magic Through The Eyes of Muggles: A Survey of Modern Fantasy Literature
- The Assembly Line and You: Lessons From Muggle Technology (a class for those intending to go into the manufacturing of magical artefacts)
- The Cell Phone and the Animal Messenger: Comparative Communications
- Sub-Prime Mortgages and Other Tales of Folly: Why You Should Avoid Muggle Banks at All Costs
- Comparative Religion 050: Yes, Jesus Was Actually a Wizard and Can We Please Move On, We Have Four More One True Sons of God to Debunk Before Lunchtime
- Comparative Religion 051: Yes, The Burning Bush Was Actually An Everburning Flame Charm, Please Stop Looking So Godsdamned Speculative Granger, You’re Making Me Very Nervous (Why Did They Let You In Here Anyway)
I’d volunteer teaching some of them, should one of their teachers have an unfortunate accident.
